Category Archives: Awareness

Core values: A starter list

Have you ever tried to make a statement of your “core beliefs”? Not something as general as “bravery” and “honesty” but something specific. This is my VERY SMALL starter list; I’m sure I will add to it.

What’s on your list? I would love to hear.

My core beliefs:

  • Separation of church and state is essential. Neutrality in the public sphere is protective of all. [Short version: “Religious freedom.”]
  • I’m pro-choice when it comes to abortion and other reproductive rights. [Short version: “Bodily integrity.”]
  • I value democratic socialism when it comes to healthcare, housing and food. Also the things that we take for granted: A safe and adequate transportation infrastructure, for example, or fire and police protection. I would rather pay higher taxes so all people have the basics than see others suffer — especially since I’m too low-income on my own to make a difference for them.
  • We must have full equality for all citizens when it comes to marriage, sexuality and gender identity.
  • There is no god, based on the evidence I have seen (and I have looked), and I do not expect to change my mind. But I remain open to the possibility if new evidence emerges (factual, scientifically rigorous, and intelligently examined evidence). [Short version: “Atheism.”] I am 100 percent at peace with the fact that others have different beliefs but become protective when their beliefs intrude upon my rights or the rights of others.
  • Continous learning keeps a person young at heart and growing in both heart and mind.
  • Communication, tolerance, courage and kindness are essential to all close relationships, but particularly in marriage. If you “never argue,” that’s not a particularly good thing, either.

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True colors, shining through

Thinking about a friend today. Someone violated this person’s trust, spilled the beans about private business, and tossed in a heaping handful of lies. Just to stir up some shit, or as an exercise in being completely batshit crazy.

In the end, it is the disloyal person’s well-deserved reward to lose a real friend … and all of that person’s true friends.

It’s at moments like this that I find myself really reaching for some healthy detachment, because I’m so outraged by breaches of trust and backstabbing attacks. It didn’t happen to ME, my head says. But my heart tells me, it happened to someone I love.

So I’m just feeling what I feel at the moment. That’s what the self-help gurus and life coaches tell us, right? “Accept how you feel. Feel what you feel. Decide what you want to do about it.” (Thank you, Lisa A. Romano.)

And now I’m not feeling compelled to act upon it except to offer my friend my genuine sympathy, outrage and support. And I will be able to let it go pretty quickly. I guess that’s progress, right?

At least, I have learned to pass fairly quickly through THIS mental phase:

(Relax … for me, this is just a meme about fierce feelings, not fierce actions.)

And I have learned to spend more of my time in THIS phase:


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