Guide to the 4th Floor Women’s Restroom
Clearly, these potty stalls at work need labeling:
1st stall: Must flush 5 times. It is not Bacardi; it will not “get the job done.”
2nd stall: The super-flusher, aka, The Flushinator. If you so much as lean forward, it’ll auto-flush. Multiple times, like it’s saying, “Get out. Geeeeet ooooooout!”
3rd stall: Doesn’t matter; always in use.
4th stall: Will spray the back of your legs when it autoflushes. For God’s sake, don’t turn around.
5th stall: The handicapped stall. People of conscience tend to avoid hogging its lovely roominess, unless all other thrones are occupied and a bladder is about to burst. Also a calf-sprayer.
All stalls: Don’t make the mistake of leaning against any wall when pulling up pantyhose (shut up, some of us pale old gals still wear it). It’s only attached at the ceiling (the row of stalls, not the pantyhose — pay attention), and the whole row will wobble alarmingly. Don’t make a roomful of peeing women shriek.
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