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How to Make a Hospital Stay More Bearable

Posted on 03 March 2008

I know you’ll be glad to find out this is the last of my hospital-inspired navel gazing. P

Hospital Survival Tips

Here are my tips that will help you get through your next hospital stay … a stay that I hope you never need.

• Send any jewelry home with relatives the first day. I had a too-fast drip in my left arm, and my swelling was so bad that I almost had them cut my rings off. Bonus: Sending valuables home means you don’t have to worry about theft or jewelry getting in the way of equipment or tests.

• For god’s sake, stay in the hospital gown. If you throw up or leak other bodily fluids on it, someone else will be doing the laundry. Just get a robe or a small lap blanket to cover you up if you’re worried about how you look.

• Avoid small requests like ice and water or a new blanket right before or during hospital shift changes. The staff will be too busy to help with the minor stuff, and you will feel like a nag if you eventually buzz them back to ask again.

• Try to throw your trash in the can. If you miss (and you will), get a family visitor to pick up the stray tissues periodically. It will save you from wanting to swat the cleaning lady who chides you during her desultory daily visits.

• You won’t come to the hospital with them, but as soon as possible, get a few toiletries delivered by a friend or family member. The hospital will provide some things. Mine, for example, was nice enough to fork over some socks, lotion, toothpaste, and a toothbrush, among other small homey touches. But you’ll still want a hairbrush, clean underwear, and shampoo. You feel better when you’re clean.

• Get a notepad and a couple of pens (you’ll lose at least one). It helps if you write down:

  • your wish list so you’ll know what you need if hubby or anyone else asks, “Can I bring you anything?”
  • reminders of what you need to do when you’re well again, so you can quit worrying about them right now — because now you have a list and a plan
  • things the doctors tell you so you’ll recall the details later
  • a prioritized list of things you want to ask the doctor when he/she visits so you use your doc’s time efficiently

• Bring a few dollar bills. If your doctor permits it, you may want a few sodas or cheese crackers from the machines.

• If you normally take medicines at home, keep your medicine list with you at all times in your daily life because it will save you a delay in getting your regular meds while you’re hospitalized. Be sure to include brand and generic names, dosages, and frequency of taking the medicines. I keep mine in my BlackBerry because I take several medicines for chronic issues. Those medical types — they always want to know the details.

• Ladies, keep up with your periods. Isn’t it annoying how the doc ALWAYS wants to know when you last spotted (ha-ha) Aunt Flo? But if you keep a note of when your period was each month (as I do, under “cycles” in my BlackBerry), you can find the info at a glance. I figure at my age I’ve had nearly 400 periods, so the details of any one cycle aren’t too distinct in my memory.

• Be thankful. The hospital staff really will go out of their way for patients who try to use their time wisely, state problems clearly, and are appreciative of small comforts and courtesies. I was flabbergasted and touched that one of my nurses trotted through the wards on three floors to find me a soda one night when I couldn’t sleep, felt miserable, and had a thundering headache after getting a breathing treatment with Albuterol earlier in the day. All I wanted in this big old world was an ice-cold can of Coke, and she found it for me. She noticed that I drank every drop, and she smiled when I thanked her profusely. Even professionals are pleased when their efforts are appreciated. And all jokes aside about U.S. medical care, I appreciated the cool, clean sheets and someone who came when I rang a button in the middle of night.

Advice for Hospitals

I also have a couple of suggestions for hospitals to help them improve.

• Tell your staff to wear no cologne or at least go easy on it. A person who’s fighting nausea, a ticklish cough, and respiratory ailments doesn’t want to be impressed by your scented magnificence.

• Don’t comment on what a good appetite fat patients have. Especially if the patient is only taking 1-2 bites of each food and is ordering a variety in hopes that something on her tray won’t make her want to hurl even more violently. And especially if you’re the skinny cleaning lady who, I might bitchily add, has no eyebrows but the ones Revlon gave her but who does have some startling tortoiseshell and chrome Jackie O. glasses. (Er … not that I have anyone specific in mind.)

What Do You Think?

What’s your advice for hospital patients or hospital personnel?

[tags]hospital advice, hospital survival tips, advice to hospitals[/tags]