Hookey-Playing Daughter? Busted. Mom? Feeling Low.
Pinching off your children’s heads isn’t legal, is it? Because it’s tempting.
I just got back from spending part of my lunch hour sleuthing to find out why my oldest had six recent unexcused absences or tardies for her first-period English class. It all clicked into focus when I spoke to her best friend’s dad, who said his daughter has study hall first period.
I correctly guessed that the gals had been warming a couple of chairs at the local Starbucks until oops-o’clock.
Now my beautiful, bright, decidedly NON-morning-person daughter is either going to have her mom driving her to her senior year of high school each day at 6 a.m. for before-school study hall OR she’ll be slouched onto a chilly seat on the school bus that she loathes. And she won’t be on her computer again unless it’s for schoolwork (and only then under active parental supervision) AND she won’t be going anywhere — anywhere at all — until she’s got passing grades again.
Taking such measures is an inconvenience and a drain on everyone in the house. (Guess where my girl got her non-morning-person genes.) But she hasn’t left much wiggle room because of her escapades. I’d be proud of nipping this in the bud if I weren’t so exasperated, tired, and sad.
It’s this kind of decision making that has been poisoning her grade point average. For such a smart and creative girl, she can sometimes fail to look at what she’s actually doing. What was she thinking? Does she want to graduate at all? Does she realize that she’s either facing summer school or a repeat of this grade if she doesn’t make utterly heroic efforts for the rest of the school year? Is she not interested in going to college?
I said all that, and more. I didn’t yell and I wasn’t mean, but I was frank.
And I kind of feel like I’ve been kicking a beloved puppy. She was home sick today (truly sick) and her crumpled expression made my heart hurt. But when you might not graduate, “senioritis” isn’t funny or cute or even excusable.
I’m back at work now … puppy-kicker that I am.
Technorati Tags: playing hookey, ditching school, ditching class, bad grades, senior year, senioritis, busted
Comments protected by Lucia's Linky Love.
12 comments
I had these same problems with both my kids and they are at an age where rebellion in coming to the fore. Making it worse is the fact that I am a single parent. Really needs lots of patience.
And thanks a lot for dropping by both My Den and Third Rock From The Sun. Regards.
Hey, Dan! I know — single parenthood can be so rugged, because it’s just you on the line when the kiddos need discipline, extra care, transportation … everything, in fact! I was single from the time my older daughter was 1 until she was 4. As bad as it was with all the little colds and earaches that she got, I don’t think I’d want to trade it for being a single mom to a teen or older. *shudder* It just gets challenging in different ways, doesn’t it. And by then, they know you better and know how to game you. :o/ I’ve said many times that I didn’t have a patient bone in my body until I had children and *had* to develop the quality.
You totally have my sympathies. I really appreciate having my husband around to share significant glances with when I’m having a “Oh, no she DIDN’T” moment with the occasional bout of teenaged mouthiness. And, of course, he keeps me from pinching the little darlings’ heads off. :o)
Best wishes to you & yours!
- Carolyn
I just want to gripe along with you. We tried *everything* with my daughter. Nipping it in the bud, grounding, ignoring, pleading, begging, yelling, Chinese water torture (ok, not)….and she has snuck boys in the house, snuck out of the house, ran away, and is now living with her ‘boyfriend’ in North Dakota. So, she’s dropped out of school, too. I’m just hoping she comes to her senses by the time she’s 30. I guess when you’re 17 you know everything. I guess it could always be worse…she’s not an alcoholic drug user……that we know of, anyway!
Hi, Michelle. Oh — my heart HURTS to read this. It is so hard to know that they’re making mistakes when they do so over your protests and pleas. I think you’re right to count your blessings and to persist in communicating with her, with love. She’ll figure out her own path, eventually. I know you’re just hoping she won’t stumble too hard and get knocked around by life along the way. :o(
Some kids are just strong-willed from birth, aren’t they. My grandmother used to tsk-tsk about the consequences they have to face, saying, “Those who cannot hear, must feel.” Hmm, I guess she had to say it to ME more than a few times.
I can’t **imagine** where my oldest daughter got her hard-headedness from. *eyeroll*
Best — Carolyn
I see this from both sides. As a parent of a 5 year old, I wonder how he’ll be when we get there, and how I’ll handle it.
As a former teenager who almost didn’t graduate hs and never made it through college, I can relate to the attitude. I only went to college because otherwise I had to pay rent to live at home. And I didn’t know what else to do.
Patrick’s last blog post..Writing: How’s it going?
This post makes me cringe inside; knowing full well I will probably be living this scenario in the future with my oldest.
Hi, Patrick! You won’t know until you get there, of course. I was such a bookworm that it never occurred to me years ago that my child might not love-love-love school. But she’s trained me a bit over the past 17 years to know that she is all her own self, not a reincarnation of me. :o)
I know that once you’re past college age, people don’t generally care what your grades are if you can do the job. And thank goodness we don’t have to drag that old baggage around with us forever. But I just worry that she’s going to screw up her shot at higher education. We live in Tennessee, and if she manages to keep a decent GPA in college, she’ll get up to $15,000 in Tennessee lottery scholarship money over four years. That’ll make a huge difference in our ability to afford the private art college she wants to attend.
And I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she’ll just GET to college right now. :o/
Hey, GorillaBuns (I’m still grinning at your moniker). I had to smile too at your comment about what you expect in the future. My oldest made it clear very early on that she was a strong-willed child. She’s been a bit challenging, although her good nature and generous heart go a long way toward mitigating my exasperation. And, like me, you’ll probably never have to worry too much that people will walk all over your girl in life — strong-willed girls have their pluses. :o)
I just wish mine would put that stubbornness to work on the tedious task of studying!
Best of luck to you! - Carolyn
Whoops, there I go — assuming that you’re referring to a daughter! My response goes just as well for sons, I’m sure.
My only child is also very strong-willed, but I think she was *born* ambitious. She excelled all the way through school, at least as much as her non-academic interests left room for (she was the creative force and main photographer for her school yearbook). But right after her 18th birthday, she entered a wild phase that scared the bejabbers out of me. College fell by the wayside. God only knows how she would’ve ended up if she hadn’t happened to get a cashier job at Best Buy. The management spotted natural abilities we’d never guessed she had, put her under the right wings and helped her launch a career. Eight years later, she’s now assistant to the VP of the music division, and being groomed for Big Things. I thank God every day for Best Buy’s advancement program.
SJ’s last blog post..Meme: Six Quirky Things
I also meant to say, I wish you the best of luck with your daughter and hope she gets her act together before it’s too late. Lordy, kids can break our hearts.
SJ’s last blog post..Meme: Six Quirky Things
Hi, SJ! It’s good to hear that your daughter landed on her feet, in the right place at the right time, with one of the good corporate programs. It’s so hard to kindle that sense of ambition, inner drive, and professional pride in some kids, but getting a taste of success will sure do it. I’m hoping that some successes in an arts college will do that for my oldest girl like work did it for yours. :o) Thanks for your good wishes — I appreciate them!
Good to hear from you, and I apologize for the delay in replying — been out sick. :oP
Best — Carolyn
Carolyn’s last blog post..Sick as a Dog, But Getting Back My Bark
Leave a Comment