Posts from — December 2007

I was talking with my older daughter, Ginny, a few days ago and reached in my makeup bag for some Chapstick because my lips get so chapped in the winter. I was looking at her and not at my hands. Boy, that Chapstick was really dried out — what a piece of junk! I looked down, and I was faithfully slathering a stick of WART REMOVER on my lips. It never actually burned, but I was howling for a tissue while I rubbed at my mouth. Ginny couldn’t get up to grab a tissue for me because she was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe.

Yes, the ol’ kisser is nice and shiny smooth today … NO WARTS!

Technorati Tags: warts,  Chapstick,  goober

This meme, found at Say La Vee, has more interesting randomness than some I’ve seen. I won’t tag anyone; just post a comment here if you post answers on your blog too!

What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?

In it? None. (”Smartass.”) But there’s a bar of Caress on the right edge. It doesn’t seem to get to squeaky-clean quite as well as Ivory, but I love the scent.

Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?

Um, no. It’s December, y’know? I have some pummelo left over from our last Girl Scout “taste fruits from around the world” activity; does that count?

What would you change about your living room?

It’s an awkward space that’s too small and has too many doors and windows and fireplace; every wall has SOMETHING breaking it up. I’d scrap the whole thing and expand it toward the back of the house if it wouldn’t run right into the pool. (Yeah, I know. Boo-frickin’-hoo.)

Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?

Oh, Lord; I’m just grateful the dishwaster is shut so the cats don’t perch on the door and give the dishes a final lick-rinse.

What is in your fridge?

A Tequiza that’s about three years old, three similarly ancient Bud Lites, five SlimFasts, about half a left-over pan of lasagna, two pans of burritos, tons of salad dressing, leftover biscuits, several mysterious containers swaddled in Saran Wrap and foil, and more grunge than I really want to think about.

White or wheat bread?

Wheat, as long as it’s not that nasty “honey” wheat. (Keep your sugar off my bread.) But if it’s Wonder Bread, it’s gotta be white - YUM.

What is on top of your refrigerator?

The three brightly colored big plastic “party food” bowls that won’t fit anywhere else, the square basket containing all my allergy shot supplies, a few dusty pizza coupons, and … so that’s where that hairbrush has been. Who brushed her hair in the kitchen?! (*silence*)

What color or design is on your shower curtain?

Ha! Don’t have one (at least in the bathroom I use). We’ve got a “garden tub” that’s open to the room and a shower with a glass door in the master bath. The upstairs hallway bathroom has a solid sage green shower curtain.

How many plants are in your home?

Two official plants — a hardy philodendron someone gave me when Ginny was born (17 years ago) and a palm tree that was nibbled half to death by the cats until I moved it away from “their” window. Also, a dozen little bastard cuttings my mom keeps sprouting on the windowsill and then transplanting to her room for a swift death from neglect. And I’ll be there’s at least one Christmas cactus in Mom’s room too.

Is your bed made right now?

Don’t be silly. I’m just glad the covers and pillows are piled on the bed and not the floor.

Comet or Soft Scrub?

Ajax, or Comet if Ajax is out.

Is your closet organized?

Yes, of course. *rolling of eyes* You can tell that it was organized at one time, but there’s an avalanche of shoes about ankle-high on the floor.

Can you describe your flashlight?

Broken at Girl Scout camp a year ago and not yet replaced.

Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?

Glass. Thick, heavy, cheap glasses that feel nice and solid in my hand; not too big and not too large. The Goldilocks of Wal-Mart glasses. Hate the squishy flexibility of soft plastic stadium cups and the battle-scarred plastic cups that have survived our dishwasher’s tender mercies.

Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?

Bwah-hahahahaha! *wiping eyes* Good one. I love the stuff but never take the time to make it. I never seem to get it right … too watery or too bitter.

If you have a garage, is it cluttered?

Technically, SOME of the garage floor is showing. I’ve been s-l-o-w-l-y clearing it out since a garage sale this summer.

Curtains or blinds?

Blinds in most rooms, plus curtains in the bedrooms.

How many pillows do you sleep with?

One ugly but comfortable old foam pillow for the head, a green velour-covered body pillow alongside me (tucked between knees and with one arm draped over it), and the very nice, new, and completely useless too-soft king-size pillow kind of tucked behind me to make a cushy cocoon.

Do you sleep with any lights on at night?

Used to, but not anymore. I tried it as an experiment after reading a magazine article about when the body produces melatonin, and it’s much nicer. My husband is thrilled to finally get to sleep in the total darkness. (I could sleep under the noonday sun or the brightest indoor lighting.)

How often do you vacuum?

*laughing* Stop, you’re killing me. We only have two carpeted areas in the house — the stairs and dining room. The kids usually run a vacuum over them 1-2 times a week, under duress and direct parental observation. The other floors are tiled or wooden, and they get swept or swiffered on an “oh hell, someone’s coming over today” basis.

Standard toothbrush or electric?

Your basic manual model — the freebie from the dentist, usually.

What color is your toothbrush?

White with sporty blue accents.

Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?

A fairly worn out one, but it’s still there. If I were not such a responsible, mature adult, I’d order the one I saw in a gift catalog that says, “Wow! Nice underwear!”

What is in your oven right now?

Just the racks and a few blobs of incinerated cheddar. (My mom makes cheese toast most mornings, and she doesn’t always put a pan under the rack to catch the drips.)

Is there anything under your bed?

I cleaned the space out just a few days ago, but here’s what has crept back already: A paperback, one wire hanger from the cleaners, the paper’s lifestyle section with the Sudoko puzzle partially done, and a pen.

Chore you hate doing the most?

Cleaning the fridge. I get a bit ranty about waste and a bit urpy about old items. Then I get obsessive with cleaning it to a sparkle. Tends not to happen often enough.

What retro items are in your home?

Our bedroom suite was my hubby’s grandmother’s, and it’s got a “battered Danish modern” thing going for it.

Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?

Oh, how I wish! I won’t have one until my oldest daughter goes off to college or my mother passes away. I’d like a room of my own but am not eager for either of those events.

How many mirrors are in your home?

Ten. The previous owners really, really, really liked mirrors. That’s also not counting a few that should be hung but which are stacked in the garage.

What color are your walls? They’re almost all the same as they were when we moved in a few years ago and I’m dying to paint the whole place. Right now, here’s how they are:

• Living room - a great khaki tan/green.
• Foyer, dining room, kitchen, kitchen hallway, stairs, and upstairs hallway - a washed-out yellow that looked fresh to me a few years ago against the glossy white trim and which drives me nuts now. So girly! So Easter-y!
• Youngest girl’s room: Pepto pink (her choice).
• Oldest girl’s room - an odd bluish-violet (was there when we moved in).
• Mom’s room - a nondescript tan (also there when we moved in).
• Upstairs bathroom - a dark peach (sounds awful but actually not too bad).
• Our bedroom and master bath, a pale sherbet gold (almost but not quite pale orange — truly confectionarily awful).

I keep postponing the grand banishment of all the pastels and the installation of EARTH TONES in favor of paying other expenses, but this is really, really starting to bug me.

Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?

Yeah — items that wouldn’t be worth lunch money at a pawn shop, but they’re functional.

What does your home smell like right now?

fabric softener, burritos, Polo aftershave, Euphoria cologne, Swiffer refill fluid, Lysol linen scent spray, and lemon starch.

Favorite candle scent?

Vanilla, or something with patchouli or sandalwood.

What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?

Regular old dills. I prefer garlic but didn’t do the shopping. Not that I’m complaining!

What color is your favorite Bible?

I’ve got a blue NIV version I like but don’t read very often. And I’m sentimentally attached to a green paperback groovy 1970s “The Way” Bible edited by some overly groovy editors.

Ever been on your roof?

Nah, and I’m hoping to keep it that way. (Honey, the gutters are that-a-way.)

Do you own a stereo?

Nope! Just an iPod and an old boombox, and that’s all I need.

How many TVs do you have?

Five old sets. One is an old, old, OLD set we picked up from the curb and which my older daughter claimed for her room. Our living room set is one I’ve had for about 15 years. Caitlyn’s is a small pink Disney TV, and Mom’s is a two-year-old mid-sized set. Ours is a teensy black model. The number will soon be six if we splurge on a new living room TV this year, but that’s still iffy.

How many house phones?

Six. And I still can’t get anyone to pick up when I call the house. Damn it.

Do you have a housekeeper?

Is that sarcasm, or have you just not ever been to visit?

What style do you decorate in?

I believe “eclectic” is the polite word.

Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?

Solid for big pieces, like my Tabasco-red sofa, and quirky tapestry patterns for accent chairs, etc. (Haven’t gotten to those yet. This is theoretical.)

Is there a smoke detector in your home?

One with batteries, one without. (Oops.)

In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?

Baby pictures, wedding pictures (if I can find them quickly enough), and my laptop.

Technorati Tags: quiz, meme

I don’t put faith in the accuracy of online quizzes, but I do enjoy figuring out my answers to “Do you believe this or that?” questions. Here are my results from BeliefNet.com’s Belief-O-Matic quiz. The intro below is theirs:

“The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

“Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.”

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Secular Humanism (97%)
3. Liberal Quakers (85%)
4. Neo-Pagan (77%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (73%)
6. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (71%)
7. Reform Judaism (69%)
8. Nontheist (68%)
9. New Age (65%)
10. Scientology (56%) (Okay, this quiz just shot its credibility to hell. *lol*- cb)
11. New Thought (53%)
12. Mahayana Buddhism (51%)
13. Taoism (48%)
14. Bahá’í Faith (46%)
15. Sikhism (44%)
16. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%) (Again with the credibility plummeting. - cb)
17. Orthodox Quaker (39%)
18. Jainism (36%)
19. Islam (31%)
20. Orthodox Judaism (31%)
21. Hinduism (25%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (23%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (23%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (14%)
25. Jehovah’s Witness (10%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (8%)
27. Roman Catholic (8%)

Technorati Tags: quiz,  Belief-O-Matic,  beliefs,  religion