Core values: A starter list

Have you ever tried to make a statement of your “core beliefs”? Not something as general as “bravery” and “honesty” but something specific. This is my VERY SMALL starter list; I’m sure I will add to it.

What’s on your list? I would love to hear.

My core beliefs:

  • Separation of church and state is essential. Neutrality in the public sphere is protective of all. [Short version: “Religious freedom.”]
  • I’m pro-choice when it comes to abortion and other reproductive rights. [Short version: “Bodily integrity.”]
  • I value democratic socialism when it comes to healthcare, housing and food. Also the things that we take for granted: A safe and adequate transportation infrastructure, for example, or fire and police protection. I would rather pay higher taxes so all people have the basics than see others suffer — especially since I’m too low-income on my own to make a difference for them.
  • We must have full equality for all citizens when it comes to marriage, sexuality and gender identity.
  • There is no god, based on the evidence I have seen (and I have looked), and I do not expect to change my mind. But I remain open to the possibility if new evidence emerges (factual, scientifically rigorous, and intelligently examined evidence). [Short version: “Atheism.”]
  • Continous learning keeps a person young at heart and growing in both heart and mind.
  • Communication, tolerance, courage and kindness are essential to all close relationships, but particularly in marriage. If you “never argue,” that’s not a particularly good thing, either.

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True colors, shining through

Thinking about a friend today. Someone violated this person’s trust, spilled the beans about private business, and tossed in a heaping handful of lies. Just to stir up some shit, or as an exercise in being completely batshit crazy.

In the end, it is the disloyal person’s well-deserved reward to lose a real friend … and all of that person’s true friends.

It’s at moments like this that I find myself really reaching for some healthy detachment, because I’m so outraged by breaches of trust and backstabbing attacks. It didn’t happen to ME, my head says. But my heart tells me, it happened to someone I love.

So I’m just feeling what I feel at the moment. That’s what the self-help gurus and life coaches tell us, right? “Accept how you feel. Feel what you feel. Decide what you want to do about it.” (Thank you, Lisa A. Romano.)

And now I’m not feeling compelled to act upon it except to offer my friend my genuine sympathy, outrage and support. And I will be able to let it go pretty quickly. I guess that’s progress, right?

At least, I have learned to pass fairly quickly through THIS mental phase:

And spend more of my time in THIS one:

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Current YouTube faves

Current favorite channels on YouTube include these random bits:


  • Lisa A. Romano ACoA Life Coach. Very down-to-earth person with a kind, practical approach to helping people who are co-dependent. I appreciate that she puts the content out there for free, too. Link.
  • Spartan Life Coach. A straight-shooting Brit who’s absorbing to listen to, has a dry sense of humor and usually keeps it pithy. Often talks about narcissists, borderline personality disorder and other topics of interest. Link.


  • Dr. Sandra Lee (aka Dr. Pimple Popper). What can I say, it’s a sickness to find removal of zits, cysts and other such yuckiness so riveting. She’s very sweet to her patients, too. Link.


  • Pomplamoose. There’s a weird, smooth, funny quality to her sound that I love. Link.
  • Only1Noah. I could listen to his mellow, smokey voice forever. Love his “Sexy and I Know It,” especially the chorus. Link.
  • Taylor Swift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know some will mock. But I like her. Her music is catchy, her videos are funny, and she has a pleasantly self-deprecating sense of humor. And it pisses me off when people mock her story-telling songs about breakups, so I feel a wee bit defiant about liking her. She seems complex and authentic. Cool. Link.
  • Storm Large. How can you not love someone with an NSFW video about “(My Vagina Is) 8 Miles Wide.” Seriously, folks. LOVE. HER. Link.
  • Lily Allen. Another frequently NSFW singer I enjoy. Favorites include “Smile,” “Not Fair,” and “Hard Out Here (for a Bitch).” Link.

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